This is my journey as an actress. It's been three years now since I have recommitted to being an actress. Of course as a younger girl with stars in her eyes, this journey felt safe and fun, but as I re-enter it as an older woman, there are more times when anxiety finds its way within and depression knocks the wind out of me.
Today I've made a definite goal now, and I am ready to strike out with that specific goal in mind. My goal is to actually BOOK a breakout role in a hit dramatic episodic series. I have made it my job to research who casts what and which productions fit me (In other words, I look at their IMDb page and check to see if there are older people like me, and if there are people who look like me. You get the drift.)
I've begun to do things differently now that I have a definitive goal in mind: I have actually courageously followed through on my relationship building with the people I've met, I have begun to on purpose start new relationships, I've begun re-building my webpage (a work in progress, of course), I've created this page, and I have courageously spoken aloud, "I am an actress," to that incredibly familiar yet uncomfortable question, "So, what do you do?"
This journey is a journey. And I am reminded that it is a marathon and not a sprint. However, if this is a journey you are commencing and you wonder whether or not you should do it, if you are older like I am and you are frightened about how unstable your finances may become, my advice, should you ask, is to do it.
And also I'd like to say that when you take this journey, find someway to love the dickens out of yourself. Should you have a setback, or go on a million and two auditions with no luck, just keep moving, and loving yourself along the way. You be your own cheerleader should those who cheered you on before grow weary. It's a marathon. It's so very important that above all that you love yourself all along the way.
I had created an 8 week goal in which I worked towards booking my breakout role. So this is what I will do right now. During those days and weeks, I will live and act with absolute certainty that my breakthrough is here. And regardless of what the results are I will turn that goal calendar around and set a new date, and hopefully a new goal because the original one will have been fulfilled.
This is a marathon. I am in here for the long distance. I commit to loving myself every turn of this race, and I will add new goals, reshape old goals, and rebuild goals as needed, and promise to myself that I am in this for the long haul.
Thank you for taking this journey with me. And along the way, allow me to be a source of encouragement and support to you.